For some inexplicable reason, Mancheter city council have paid for a 70m blue penis to be built slap bang in the town centre. The princely some of £6 will see you strapped to a seat suspended from the nob on a ten ton rotating cock ring by some steel tassels, and spun round like props in a novelty strip act for about five minutes, before being lowered back down to the ground to face the rest of your life wondering what that £6 could have bought you if you'd invested more wisely. Maybe the act of strapping oneself in before riding is a metaphor for teaching the yoot safe sex, maybe its a giant fertility symbol to get some babies made for a great Manchester future, maybe the councillor responsible has issues in the bedroom department? Whatever. If id have wanted to pay 6 pound in to ride a giant dick, I'd have just gone to canal street.
I initially looked at it about 2 days after it went up and kind of went 'meh', as did the rest of my lot. It didnt look *that* high, and even when you got to the top, it looked like there would be no where to hang out and you'd just be dangling on a ladder.
After a couple of months the only person who was still keen was the asoom cocoon (and it needed doing by *someone*), so we had another gander. It's tricker than it looks.
There is a 24 hour security guard on site who sits about ten feet away from it in a glass box , with 6 or 7 wide angle CCTV cameras watching its base and flood lights to light up the first level. It'd have to be a stupid o clock jobby with some pretty silent motion to avoid the ring of overlapping cctv and to get above the guardians eyeline.
Turned out to be a pretty nice (and ultimately solvable) puzzle.
The giant white bell-end actually contains all the winch gear for wanking its joyful cargo up and down its length, and a few LED lights to cheer up the pissheads on their way home from 5th Ave.
A bit more hanging around it was time to pop down and hop back to out gaffs for some kip. This starflyer thing wasn't as bad as I thought afterall.
Latonz.
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